Remus Lupin and the Stabby Tabby
by RJLupinFan
Summary: In which Remus adopts a cat, Minerva is missing, Dumbledore is distraught and Severus is exasperated.


**Summary: In which Remus adopts a cat, Minerva is missing, Dumbledore is distraught and Severus is exasperated.**

* * *

Kneazles. Highly intelligent, albeit ugly, magical felines. Their fur can be used as wand cores, and they are exceptionally skilled at identifying suspicious individuals. And if their current hissing and arching was anything to go by, they absolutely despise the common cat. Remus Lupin watched in exasperation as the brown tabby cat taunted his kneazles - intended for his third year Defense Against the Dark Arts class. The cat paced back and forth along the kneazle cages, it's ears pinned back and it's teeth bared as it hissed at it's magical equivalents. The kneazles, predictably, took the bait - Remus knew if his cages weren't magically reinforced that they might have just managed to break out and assert their dominance on the common domestic who dared set foot in their territory. Remus snapped shut his office door and the tabby jumped in fright, finally realising that she was being watched.

"Here, kitty. Come on, that's a good girl," said Remus as he held out a hand. She approached with caution, sniffing his hand before letting him pet her. Remus noticed the unusual markings around the cat's eyes, and that the cat was not wearing a collar, a compulsory requirement for all cats owned by students.

"Well, what am I going to do with you?" he asked as he picked up the cat. He couldn't possibly let her go - she had already found her way into his closed office (how she had managed this, he couldn't possibly imagine) and he could not risk her taunting his kneazles again. "I can't let you go, can I? You might just get back in - ouch!"

The cat bit him! Remus swore profusely and the cat jumped out of his hands and ran to the door, scratching at it, as though by doing so the door would magically open.

"Stupid cat," muttered Remus as he attempted to pick her up a second time, but the cat struck him with her sharp claws, leaving behind a nasty scratch. He instinctively pulled his hand away and instead reached for his wand. "_Stupify_!"

The cat fell flat on the ground and Remus was finally able to pick her up. He carried her over to an empty magically reinforced cage, put her down carefully, set up plates full of food and water, before closing the cage and reviving the cat. The tabby did not seem too pleased by this new predicament. She whined and hissed and even tried to bit her way out.

"Silly cat," said Remus, shaking his head. "I'll have you out as soon as I've had a word with Minerva about what to do with you. You're not meant to venture out of your common room, especially not without a tag!"

The cat seemed to stare at him as it let out a long and high pitched whine, before giving up and curling into a ball.

"That's the spirit," said Remus, chuckling to himself.

* * *

It was not until that evening that Remus noticed that something was amiss. Professor Dumbledore called an emergency meeting just before before dinner. Worried that Sirius Black might have been spotted in the school, Remus rushed to the staff other teachers were already huddled inside, all looking worried.

"What's happened?" asked Remus nervously, as he sat down besides Severus (who ignored him).

"It's Minerva," said Dumbledore grimly, looking unusually tired. "She's missing."

Remus frowned in confusion.

"Missing?" he repeated.

"She hasn't been seen since lunch. She's missed all her classes since then. It's most unlike her."

"Have her private quarters been searched?" asked Professor Sprout. A patch of dirt stood out in stark relief against unusually pale face.

"Naturally. Twice by the house elves, and a third time by myself. The portraits are conducting a thorough search of the castle as we speak. If - and I sincerely hope I am wrong - but if it is as I fear, she must be found as soon as possible by a portrait, or house elf, or staff, before a wandering student finds her."

A heavily silence seemed to engulf the room. He did not need to further articulate his thoughts - if Black had gotten to her, there was no knowing what sort of condition she would be in. It was only weeks ago that he had attempted to slash his way into Gryffindor tower.

"Will the students be sent to Great Hall?" asked Severus.

"I do not wish to cause alarm. They will be headed to the Great Hall now for dinner. Filius, Sybill - I must ask you to attend to the Great Hall in haste to keep a watch over the students. The rest of the staff will patrol the castle."

* * *

A very deflated Remus returned to his office later that evening. They had spent hours searching the castle, to no avail. Minerva was nowhere to be found. There was no sign of a struggle, either. None of the portraits had seen anything.

Feeling uneasy, Remus removed his cloak and sunk into his chair. Behind him, the tabby cat meowed with urgency, begging to be let free.

"I did promise I would let you go, didn't I?", he said somberly. "But I am afraid the timing is not quite right. It will have to wait."

The cat meowed again. Remus turned around and looked sadly at the cat.

"I am sorry, my feline friend. But a remarkable woman is missing, and I fear that my childhood friend is to blame."

The cat looked at him inquisitively. She meowed again, a shorter meow, as though she was asking him to elaborate. He felt foolish talking to an animal, but he could not help but find it therapeutic at such a trying time.

"Yes, Minerva is missing. She is a teacher here. Her animagus is a cat, perhaps you have meet her before in her feline form? I believe she is a tabby too," he said. At this, the at stood up on its hind legs, clawing at the cage, meowing very loudly. Remus shook his head.

"It's almost as though you understand me, as though you mourn with me. Or am I simply seeing what I want to see?"

He turned away from the cat and decided that it was best to head to bed early. The full moon was approaching, and after the days events, he was exhausted - both physically and mentally. The cat continued to meow as he changed into his night clothes.

"Meowing won't get you anywhere, you know," he said as he pulled his nightshirt over his head. It was worn and threadbare, but comfortable. There was a knock at his door. After his initial surprise that someone would be calling at such a late hour, he realised that there might be news of Minerva and rushed to the door. It was Severus, and he did not look happy.

"What's happened?" Remus asked quickly. "Have they found her?"

"No," he said shortly. "You forgot your Wolfsbane."

Remus watched in horror as Severus held out a flask of Wolfsbane potion. The full moon was in two nights and he had completely forgotten that tonight was his first dose.

"Severus - thank you. I was so distracted by poor Minerva that I completely forgot about the potion," he said ashamedly, taking the flask from Severus and placing it on his desk. Severus, however, was not listening. Instead, he was staring with wide eyes at something over Remus' shoulder.

'Lupin, where did you find that cat?' said Snape slowly.

"The tabby?" Remus asked, surprised. It was unlike Severus to show interest in something so mundane as a household cat. "I discovered it terrorising my kneazles. It didn't have a collar so I don't know who it belongs too. I'm not sure it's wise to let it out - it's very violent."

"That _cat_ doesn't belong to a student, you blubbering idiot," said Severus harshly.

"Excuse me?" Remus replied incredulously. "How dare you -"

But Severus ignored him and walked brisky over to the cage, and before Remus could stop him, he flipped the locks and let the cat out. The cat tried to escape but Severus was quicker, casting a spell at the cat. Remus watched in astonishment as the cat morphed into an extremely disheveled looking Minerva McGonagall. She stood up, straightened out her robes and glared at Remus.

"You will speak of this to no one," she said in barely more than a whisper, before turning around and leaving the office.

"Well, I suppose someone had better inform Dumbledore," said Severus. Remus, still speechless, simply watched a Severus followed Minerva out of the office.

Remus sat down, still not believing that he had trapped Minerva - _Minerva McGonagall_ \- in a cage in his office. He felt shame and guilt, before making a sudden realisation.

"Wait a minute! This is _not_ my fault," he said out loud to no one in particular. Realising that Severus had a head start, he rushed to his fireplace and flooed to Dumbledore's office. He would explain the situation to Dumbledore before Severus has a chance to.

A moment later, he fell out of his fireplace into Dumbledore's office, but was surprised to see that Severus had already arrive.

Dumbledore looked at him sternly.

"Is Severus correct, Remus? Did you trap Minerva in your office?"

"I told you he could not be trusted, Professor!" said Severus smugly. "No doubt the whole situation was orchestrated with the help of Sirius Black!"

"That's quite enough, Severus," said Dumbledore, who turned towards Remus expectantly.

"It wasn't my fault!" he said earnestly. "I found the cat in my office, tormenting my kneazles. She didn't have a collar and scratched me when I tried to touch her! How was I to know that Minerva that a habit of parading around Hogwarts in her feline form?"

To his immense relief, Dumbledore chuckled.

"Unfortunately, Minerva never could resist interacting with animals as a feline. I suppose the opportunity to taunt kneazles was too much for her to resist," he said. "Still, this isn't as bad as the time she caused havoc in the Owlery…"

"So that's it? You believe his story?" said Severus, looking thoroughly disappointed.

"Come now, Severus! Let us rejoice that Minerva was found, safe and sound! This is a time for celebration - after all, it could have been much worse," he said, as he conjured three bottles of butterbeer, before turning to Remus. "Afterall, at least she didn't spend the night in your office, Remus! Now _that_ would have been rather awkward for all involved."

A sudden thought occured to Remus. He looked down at his nightshirt in horror. It was more awkward than he realised.

"Albus, how good is Minerva's vision as a cat?" he asked slowly.

"Rather good, I would say. Why do you ask?"

"Because I think she watched me undress."

Severus smirked as helped himself to a bottle of butterbeer.

"To Remus and Minerva," he said, while Remus could only watch on in horror.

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AN - thanks for reading! Feedback welcome. :)


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